huh.. not the first time i've heard that about me but somehow i'm still very surprised that even online that's how i come across.. T___T my irls have repeatedly said about me that i'm very guarded and i know what they mean now, but i just can't figure out how to make myself seem more accessible.

i want to be KNOWN i want to make myself known but the fear of vulnerability and exploitation overtakes that. lately i've found everything i put out i've screened a hundred times over in my head and crafted carefully in favor of an image of *making myself known*-ness but it does the opposite.. it just comes across as performative doesn't it.